I hate not knowing what the future holds no matter if it is the near future or distant future. The planner in me wants to have every step of my life planned out so I know exactly what to expect. I highly dislike the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen. All to often I depend on myself to figure life out and God is the after thought. How does that order get so messed up over the years?
As a teenager you life a carefree life and figure by this age, I will do this or that for a job, live in this community and be married with this number of children. You assume you will have life figured out by the time you are 21 or so. 21 rolls around and you're still clueless. 25 comes and goes and you have more questions than answers in some areas. 29 hits you and you still don't know what the heck is going on. So at what point in your life do you figure it all out?
I'm learning it is not my job to have it all figured out. It is not my job to plan out my future and fill God in on what my expectations are. It is not my job to try and make things happen.
It is my job, however, to trust. Trust that the God of all creation does have it all figured out and He knows what He is doing.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11