Gettin the Boot

Just when you have lost faith in all people, you have a day that renews your spirit and keeps you going. Thursday was the annual Burn Institute "Give Burns the Boot" Boot Drive. Once a year fire fighters around San Diego County stand on street corners holding their boots and collecting money for the Burn Institute.

We were all a little skeptical this year. It was the day after tax day, the economy is still deeply troubled, and it was spring break. Last year Ramona raised approx $13,000-14,000 but we weren't sure if we would get anything close to that this year. Regardless we woke up early and headed to the streets.

First of all it was great exercise running back and forth between highway 67 and dye rd! Secondly in the short amount of time it took to place some bills or change in the boot I heard some amazing things.. (I didn't know anyone's name so I will make up names for fun)

Sally: " You guys life flighted my daughter from station 81 last year. I was so scared and you guys took such good care of her. She is doing great and today is her birthday! Thank you for everything you guys are doing."

Francine: " I really don't have much and I hate to ask this.. but all I have is a 20.. could I get 10 back? I'm really sorry to ask that"

Gary: "I don't have any money on me but I want to donate. Will you guys be out here all day?"

The stories went on and on. One after another saying thank you and throwing cash in the boots. Some needed change, some had no money on them, some only had a few cents.. but they all donated or made an effort. The one that touched me the most was the lady I talked about above. Yes, she asked for change and some may be shocked by that. Clearly she was sacrificing what little she had to help the cause. Amazing...

Ham Hunters

Normally I do not put off running errands and getting things for family events but this week has told a different story. You see, we are celebrating easter a week later this year for a number of reasons. I signed up to bring the ham. You know.. the big, juicy lump of meat that melts in your mouth and is the main course. For some reason I felt I had all the time in the world... until today. Today was the last day to get a ham for our shindig tomorrow. No problem right? Run to costco, pick it up, come home. Easy....

I had lunch with a friend then we headed to the Costco by her house. We must have done 4 or 5 laps around the meat section but we just weren't seeing the shiny red foil wrapped ham. I finally asked someone and he said they were sold out. WHAT?! How is that possible? It's a week after Easter.. haven't they gotten a new food shipment? Apparently not.

No need to panic. There was an albertsons down the street. They had one.. count them ONE ham left and it was huge. I didn't buy it because I knew it was way too much. We left and I decided to stop by another Costco on my way home. They didn't have any either! It was 7:30 pm and they close at 8:30. I started to feel a little panicky. The next costco was 30min away. I practically ran to my car and drove quickly to the next Costco. They didn't have any either! At this point I was ready to call my friend and have her go back to albertsons to get that one lonely ham! I have to show up tomorrow with a ham. How can we have an Easter meal with no ham? I was wondering if I would have to serve ham lunch meat to my family and friends.

I took a shot at one more store before heading back to Ramona. Jackpot! Stater Bros. in poway had a ton of them. I finally picked one and of course when I get to the register it has no price tag. Awesome. So the bagger high tails it to the meat department to find a price. In the meantime I can see the line behind me getting bigger and people getting antsy. It's like their eyes were burning into the back of my head. Just staring, wondering what on earth could be taking so long when I only had 4 items. The bagger is taking her time so the checker calls back to the meat department. She didn't think the price quoted was correct so she just made up a price.

So 3 Costcos, 1 Albertsons and 1 Stater Bros. later I walked away with a ham that was originally priced at $15.30 but marked down by my new favorite checker to $7.83

So my dear family.. savor this ham while you eat it tomorrow..cuz this was almost the easter with no ham.

35 Years

My Mom and Dad were high school sweethearts. 35 years later they are still going strong. That is practically unheard of these days! They celebrated their anniversary on April 6th.

My parents have never pretended that life was easy or perfect. They have certainly had their trials, just like any couple. The thing that sticks out the most to me is that they did everything they possibly could to stick it out, get through it, press on. They always put their family first. Never missing a performance, track meet, soccer or basketball game.. One of them was always there.

They even traveled to New York my Junior year of high school when my choir went there for a competition. The other kids in the choir called them " mom and dad". People who didn't know them probably thought they had 50 kids roming around. In a sense, they did.

When times were tough they made sure my brothers and I had everything we needed. They would go without so their kids wouldn't have to. They are the same way even now, eventhough we are all grown. They make sacrifices only parents would make. They work hard every day and put their family first no matter what.

They have been a great example of a strong marriage and amazing parents. I love them more than words can say.

My mom and I used to have a lot of ummm disagreements when i was younger. I had a bit of a temper and that didn't go over well during conversations. Over the years we have grown closer and I truely see her one of my best friends. She is always there to tell me she loves me and to help me stay strong.

I am totally my dad's little girl. he used to give me horsie back ride to bed when I was little. he has a nickname just for me that still makes me blush. He's not one to show too much emotion but I know he has a soft spot in his heart just for me. He's the one that still wants to protect me even after all these years.

I am so blessed by the parents God has given me. I thank God for them daily. I love you mom and dad.. Happy 35th wedding anniversary!

My "Bear"

I was a junior in high school when I found out I was going to be an aunt for the first time. Although I was shocked, I was so excited. Then I found out it was a girl! I rode to the hospital with Jimmy and it seemed like it was taking forever to get there. Then we had to sit and wait until she was born! On April 6, 1998 at approx. 3:10am my first niece, Alissa Renae, was born. I couldn't wait to get in the room and see her.

I will never forget the first time I held her. I looked down at this tiny little girl with brilliant blue eyes and I was in love. A smile formed on her lips when she looked at me. She had this auntie hook, line and sinker with that smile.

My mom watched her a lot so I got to spend a boat load of time with her. I loved her deep belly laugh, her curly blonde hair and her smile that could melt my heart any hour of the day. I've always felt the word "aunt" made me sound old. So I opted for her to call me "auntie". Being the youngster she was, she couldn't quite say the word so it ended up sounding like "tee tee". Over the years it has stuck and my other nieces and nephews call me that. I absolutely love it.

I remember one day I took her to Stater Bros with me. We were walking down the aisle when she spotted a younger guy down at the end. Now we all know kids have no volume control on their voice.. so when she said " tee tee he's cute!".. it came out quite loud! He stopped, looked up and smiled. I couldn't do anything but turn bright red and laugh. For the record, he was indeed a cutie!

Somewhere over time I started calling her "bear". I have no idea where it came from but no matter what she will always be my little bear. She turned 11 this last monday. I stood there looking at her, completely amazed. She's so precious to me. I don't get to see her or spend as much time with her as I would like. I am hoping to change that this year and in the years to come. She's almost as tall as me and that freaks me out like you wouldn't believe!

Occasionally I grab her while she is walking by, pull her onto my lap and try to hold her like a baby. In an exasperated tone filled with laughter she says "teeeee teeee". Oh how I love this kid! She has a knowledge of horses and animals that I am jealous of. She is strong, sensitive, stubborn, beautiful, full of life, smart and funny. I can't believe how big she is getting. This auntie could go on forever but I better stop before I become a blubbering blogger.. more than I already am right now :)

Happy Birthday my no so little "Bear". I love you SO much!

Selfishness

*A 25 yr old woman is dead, her 4 week old son now motherless and a husband and family left grieving a life that was cut too short. I went to high school with that young woman. I may not have talked to her since I graduatated 10 years ago but I remember her. I remember a smile that touched your very soul. Hugs that would make you feel like the most loved person in the world and joy that could light up a football stadium. Alex Drake is dead because someone else decided to either street race or couldn't control their road rage. Alex was minding her own business. Probably excited about going on an outing with her mom and new baby. The drivers of the other vehicles made a selfish choice and dear, precious Alex paid the price.

* A line of cars (about 10-15) waiting at a stoplight. A truck pulled over on the right hand shoulder with a man standing outside doubled over in obvious pain. It was clear there were no flat tires. He was doing his best to wave and reach out to the cars driving by. Does anyone stop? No. Not until a dispatcher on her way to work realizes this man needs help. Arms stiff, sharp abdominal and chest pains and a hard time breathing. A quick phone call to my dispatch center and the medics are on the way. The patient and firefighters thank me for calling and I remember thinking "why wouldn't I call?" To me, it was obvious he needed help. not once did I feel unsafe pulling over.

* An ambulance, Battalion Chief, Fire Engine, Another Battalion Chief, Another Fire Engine... Lights flashing, sirens screaming, the horn honking... a clear sign to get the heck out of the way. I pull over and what do the three cars behind me do? Pass me and speed up! You have got to be kidding me. Am I the only one that looks in the rearview mirror for more reasons than to check my hair or make-up? I know they are not responding to your emergency at this particular moment but is was someone's emergency.

The selfishness I have seen over the last week or so makes me sick to my stomach. Is everyone so self absorbed that they are not aware of the things around them? Is getting to work/home 2 minutes early really worth increasing your speed a considerable amount and endangering everyone around you? Potentially landing you or someone else in the hospital or dead OR you with a speeding ticket?

Sometimes people make comments about how I am always making cookies or brownies or something for the fire stations. They make me feel like I really have no life and that I sound kind of pathetic really. Sometimes people outright say I need to get a life or do somethng else with my time. Well guess what.. I enjoy doing these things. I honestly do. It brings me so much joy when the crews are excited and they scarf down 5 cookies in one mouth-full. They deserve it. They deal with so much every day. I never want to stop doing nice things for people. Over the last week or so I've seen the destruction selfishness can leave in its wake.

The man I called the ambulance for needed to go to the hospital but didn't go because he didn't have insurance or money to pay. Would I pull over again and do the same thing? Absolutely! He could have passed out there on the side of the road and who knows what would have happened.

The fire engines,battalion chiefs, and ambulance got to the accident scene this morning but almost at the price of someone's life when a car cut in front of one of the fire engines.

Take a moment this week, hug someone you love. Do one nice thing for someone. Think beyond yourself. Please.

The Good, The Bad and The Udderly Ridiculous

A couple weekends ago my brothers, sister-in-laws and I went to a murder mystery cafe' for dinner. I think we were all excited to get dresses up and go out together. Going into it we knew there was a chance someone from the audience would be picked to be part of the show.


There were three empty seats at our table until Warren, Joyce and Ursula joined us. Warren quickly headed to the chair next to me which gave my brothers their first ammunition for the evening. Warren said " I know a good thing when I see one"... he sat away from his wife and next to me. This would be slightly flattering had Warren been a good looking man in his 30s.. maybe even 40s but NO. Warren was probably about 70 years old. Warren quickly became my friend and "partner" in solving the trivia questions. I have to say that atleast he was more nice than creepy.

The theme was the Hooter County Fair. Fitting as it was, our table was on the "Cow" side of the room as opposed to the "Pig" side of the room. (Just for the record, three of us grew up in Ramona and not once did we ever go cow tipping). Instead of clapping for things we were instructed to Moo. There was a lot of audience participation...Especially when they said "Hooter County". We had to make the "ok" sign with both hands, flips our hands upside down and put the "o' part over our eyes (like you used to do as a kid when you made a batman mask on your face) then flap our bent arms like chicken wings while chanting "Hooooo hoooooo, love them hooters". It was impossible to do without laughing.


Our saloon-girl waitress asked if anyone at the table was available, aka single. Much to my brothers' amusement and without even thinking, my sister-in-laws (you know the girls that marry your brothers but are supposed to take your side on everything and support you when it comes to stupid guys no matter what) throw me under the bus and point at me. Thanks ladies! I sat in fear for the rest of the show. Thinking " what are they going to do when they call me up on stage?", " how badly are they going to embaress me?", " what am I going to have to do". I was a bundle of nerves.

There was a certain town sheriff that rode a pony on a stick. He would move that pony in some suggestive manners. At one point I noticed my brothers texting then whispering to their wives. oh dear god what are they scheming this time? I asked brian what the text was and he said I couldn't read it because it was inappropriate for me. The fear grew.. Later I found out my oldest brother had told the sheriff I would like to pet the pony. Thanks..eww (he played two characters so here he is as a bad guy)

The show continued and it was hilarious! Numerous times we were wiping tears from our eyes or holding our sides from laughing so hard. It was a good night out with the sibilings. Sadly, warren didn't ask for my number and went home with his wife. Too bad.. the old guy kinda grew on me by the end of the night. (totally kidding)

The King family with "Miss" Trampy aka our friend Shawn

Networking.. sort of

Today I made the trek to Mira Mesa and Clairemont for some gift buying and supply getting. As I was putting stuff in my car in the Target parking lot, a black car pulled up next to me. I waited for the person to ask me if I was leaving and if they could have my spot. I was ready with the "sorry but i still need to go to babies r us next door".

She remained sitting in her vehicle while the following conversation ensued:

Lady: Do you live around here?
Me: NO, i don;t
Lady: Don't worry, I'm not asking for directions. I mean do you live in San Diego County
Me: well, yes
Lady: Are you currently employed or looking to change your career
Me: yes, I am employed
Lady: Where?
Me: I am a 911 Dispatcher
Lady: are you considering a career change?
Me: No. I love my job.
Lady: well i am a business owner that is new to san diego (blah blah blah blah)

Hmm not the typical questions one would expect. I just kept thinking to myself.. could anyone really take this person seriously when she pulled up next to them in a vehicle, didn't even step out of the vehicle and was wearing a t-shirt. I didn't realize that parking lot stalking was a form of networking for your business. Why not stand out front of a grocery store with the Girl Scouts.

Strangely enough, when I was finished in Babies R Us and returned to my car, she was there again! She was talking to the women in the car next to mine and they were actually giving her their phone number. For their sakes (eventhough I don't know them) I hope this lady is legit.

Lessons Learned

Today was the day.. taxes. My stomach was in knots all night. What would this year bring? Last year I ended up paying $2200. Not a fun thing by any means. I felt hopeless and scared and wondered how in the world I would pay that off. My tax guy, Kenneth, saved me from drowning in my tears by giving me some suggestions on how to improved this years outlook.

So last year I walked away from Summit Financial with a baby bit of hope. I came home and immediately made some changes. I changed my tax with holdings, donated to a few charities, joined the Susan G Komen breast cancer walk and started volunteer work with the San Diego Burn Institute.

It is amazing that a few suggestions and a little bit of follow-through can change someone's life in so many ways. I started living a little differently. I watched my income more, made charitable contributions and kept track of mileage to all training and volunteer events.

Those small changes made a huge difference this year. Thankfully I am getting a refund. When I pulled out my tax information for Kenneth, his face lit up. He "oo'd" and "ahh's" over the spread sheets I made. I explained that I had taken his suggestions to heart and made some changes. He was so excited and expressed how proud he is of me.

Volunteering for the Burn Institute has certainly changed my life. I love it. The kids, the other volunteers, burn run and fire expo.. I've learned so much from each thing. The Breast Cancer walk was a life changing event and I can't wait to do it again this year and get other people involved. Who knew you could learn so much from getting your taxes done!

So to all who feel like hope is lost, take a step back, make a few changes if needed and press on. Things will always get better. Learn from the past, don't regret it.

The Big Flub

Cake baking consists of many things including cramping hands, a sore back, late nights and early mornings. The latest cake was no exception. You see, my Chief is retiring this week so we are throwing him a surprise retirement luncheon on Monday. Of course I offered to do a cake for the event. A delicious chocolate cake with chocolate mousse and raspberry filling.

On Saturday I started building the cake when one of the layers fell apart. So I rushed back to the store to pick up some eggs so I could remake the third layer. I also needed the supplies to make the raspberry filling. I could have bought seedless raspberry preserves to use as the filling. But did I? NO!! The darn perfectionist side of me came out again. So I start making the filling from scratch... running between the kitchen and bathroom.. stir the filling, curl the hair, stir the filling, curling the hair.. (I was getting ready to go see RENT).

Sunday came along and things were going great with the cake. I packaged everything up and brought it to work. I had a good start on it and knew I would have plenty of time to work on it during my shift.

So there I was in the "kitchen" area in the command center chatting on my phone and piping detailed flames along the sides of this cake. The frosting was on but I was smoothing every tiny piece of it with a paintbrush dipped in water. I went to turn the cake to finish the LAST flame when the unthinkable happened.. it fell of the counter. It was like this slow motion movie moment. I threw out my hand but all I got was a handful of frosting. Then I uttered the most horrific words known to any baker " I just dropped the cake". The person on the phone blurted out "NO way!" as did my co-workers. They thought I was joking. Tears welled up and I just stood there silent looking at this crumbled chocolate cake on the floor. My co-workers walked over and we just stood there. It was like a moment of silence for my belated creation. I squeaked out an "I'll call you back" to the person on the phone then proceeded to scoop up the mound of mushed cake and put it in the trash can. A very very sad moment for this baker. I guess everyone that said they couldn't wait to see it are going to have to wait a lot longer..

Perfectionist

Some say I am too hard on myself or I don't have enough faith in myself. What it comes down to is being a perfectionist. I like to do things right the first time. Sometimes I put undue pressure on myself. This weekend I made a firefighter helmet cake for a friends son. I tried out a new cake recipe, a new frosting recipe and a new design. Big tasks for one birthday cake. The cake recipe is super yummy and turned out great. The shape/design turned out pretty good but I will tweak some things next time. The frosting, however, not so great. It would work better as a filling. The perfectionist side of me came out big time and I spent many hours with a small paint brush trying to make lines perfect and smooth out the troublesome frosting. In the end I was fairly satisfied with the final product. The best part was Gariel running into the room asking me if i made his firefighter cake. He was SO excited! When you have a child's reaction like that, the perfectionist side melts away and joy comes over you. I loved his reaction. Everyone else had a good reaction but his was the best. It reminds me why I make cakes for people. I have 3 more cakes to make this month. Apparently my business is "booming". Check out the lastest pics on my cake blog: http://thecandidcakelady.blogspot.com/

My days off flew by this week! Amongst the cake mania that was taking over my kitchen, I actually had time to scrub down my whole apartment AND go to the gym. Over the last couple weeks "weigh in day" wasn't so great. I didn't lose anything! Friday was a different story. Down 3 more pounds! That's 10 so far..woohoo! Many people have said that you can hit a plataue and that's probably what happened. Thanks for having faith in me but it was pure laziness. I didn't work out nearly as hard or as much and I didn't eat the right stuff or the right amount. I slacked.. big time. This last week was a different story. I got back on track and the scale confirmed that for me. Not losing any weight two weeks in a row was unacceptable in my mind. Again, perfectionist. I've set my mind on a goal and I am determined to get there.

I am doing much better than I was last week. My family and friends have stepped up and really supported me and encouraged me. No one has offered advice on dating or tried to push me to talk about it. They simply tell me they love me. I got some much needed therapy a few days ago when Brian and Katie invited me to go to the park with them. I just can't believe how big Peyton is getting. She's adorable and I loved watching her play at the park. The therapy continued last night when I got endless hugs from Alissa and Justen. I tell you, hugs and kisses from my nieces and nephews are the best therapy in the world. I love them soooo much!

The day I went to the park with Brian and Katie I woke up with the chorus of this song in my head..
"It's a Great Day to be Alive" by Travis Tritt
"And it's a great day to be alive I know the sun's still shinin' when I close my eyes There's some hard times in the neighborhood But why can't every day be just this good?"

Oh how true it is.. It really is a great day to be alive.